We think we're pretty laid back people. And we normally are. But for some reason, we I was thrown into panic mode this week when I called our adoption agency to get a time frame for updating our home study and getting on the waiting list. We knew they were crazy backed up and didn't expect (banked on) them not being ready to do our home study until the end of summer, which meant for us that we probably wouldn't get NKOTB (New Kid On The Block) until after Boog turned 2 (and was nicely out of diapers so that we could then budget for new kid's diapers and formula). Apparently we had concocted this plan for how things were going to work. It was nice and tidy and it worked well. For US.
However...I called and spoke to the great admin lady at Bethany and she said it was crazy that I called because I was on her list to call today to set up an appointment for our home study (which we planned for next week). WHAT? Ok. This is fine. We have about a month of visits and then another month of paperwork right? No. The new way since we have already adopted through Bethany is one home visit...and paperwork done pretty quickly after that. Meaning we could be up and running on the Waiting Families website in like a month! YIKES!
Two things learned:
Why did I get so panicked about this? Because I thought of all the tiny, worldly things such as diapers for two kids, formula, buying new clothes, burp cloths, and the biggest...the room isnt ready! But seriously...the kid doesn't even realize where they are for a while...making the room pretty should be the least of my worries. But why am I even worried about this? God is fully in control. We KNOW this. We were totally surrounded and comforted by this knowledge during our first adoption go round. We will be fine. We will work out the budget. And statistically NKOTB will not be here in a month. It's just that we need to be ok with the idea that he/she COULD be.
Second thing. This news is AMAZING! Why did I immediately think of the scary things? Because of sin. Yep. I said it. I'm a sinner. I created this plan in MY mind, not really asking too much from God. WRONG! I was asking God for big things (health of baby and birthmom, guidance, protection of all the hearts involved) but didn't consult him on my little every day fears. Realization. God does care about the minute things we think are so big.
NKOTB was so far off when we started this process. And we really haven't been thinking about it too much because we knew it would be a while. But now we are in the thick of getting ready for this kid! It's exciting and fun and scary and joyful and fearful all rolled into one.
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